my new path!

well, im dont put my sentimental or emotion sort of expression in my blog.. i prefer my blog to be my diary to record all my sweet dreams and experiences that i had in my life.. but i think why not i express my feeling in my blog.. what is wrong with that? life is not always happy... its always happy and sad... from there only a balance cycle in this world will happen..

finally, i have moved on with something that i have to move on... its about her.i just dont wanna hear her name, her face, her voice or even her existence. its not that i hate her.. but i think its enough for me to suffer like this.. no more all this crap.. for now, i really think that love is something that easy to obtain, but very hard to keep the shape from the moment u got it.. love is fragile.. its not easy to keep and care for it. i think.. maybe love cant be force.. love dont need to be too gentle too. i had this love, which i really crush to her. i dont look to her appearance, i dont see her money, attitude, look, etc... but what i know is, i love her. i love her more than anyone else do to her.. i can even sacrifice my life to her and i think that is enough to tell u guys how much i love her..

from the beginning, i kept on sms her, ask her how is she... give her all my love and care.. be gentle and be there when she is lonely, need any company, be the one that can be a thousand man for her. when you love someone, u will try to show to someone that u love that it is enough to have only me in this world, cus i can be who he/she wants to be, what she/he wants and be there when he/she need you. but i dont know where was my mistake... if u ever heard of pepatah melayu 'nila setitik, rosak susu sebelanga'. now i truly understand the meaning of that words. i think, sometimes, love dont always need sacrifice. love only happen when two parties fall for another party and so do another party. so, love is combination of two heart, so, what is important in love is, there must be give and take. there is no point for someone keep on giving his/her couple, while the other party just keep on taking and not making any effort to strenghten the love that been built between them. when this thing happened to me, first,i dont notice how fool i am.. love is blind is what people said... nvm, but at least, one day, i forced myself to open-wide my eyes and see the whole things that i've done and what she has done...and then, that moment, i begin to think back, is it worth for me to give all my love to her eventhough for this past months, she had done nothing to show how much i meant to her in her life...

when the time i broke up especially, i can see the true color of the situation that was happening that time.. now i know the word 'love' that i always spelled doesn't really exist actually, and so i know how fake was all her love sentence that she always present to me. it is really pain in the ass for u to accept the facts, but believe me, yes, it hurts fucking damn much, but when u get through this, u will understand how lucky, how smart and how intelligent u are to dumb someone who dont worth to have us! when i said the word 'break up' to her. she was astonished, but in a 'cover girl' way... but she is not sad at all, not begging me to accept her back nor even say sorry for what she had done to me... i know it sounds like she's soo fucked up.. but cus i know that i am not worth anything for her, and that is why i got guts to say it out.

but whatever it is, i love the life that im experience now. i feel so extravaganza, i feel more happy and i can sense that more love is coming toward me! my mom always tell me that when you love yourself, then everyone else going to love u too.

ciawzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

cosplay at MMU!

well, last saturday, my sis told me that there will be a japanese anime exibition at multimedia university,cyberjaya. its all about anime, well, naruto,bleach, one piece etc.... then i skip my work for that day, and went there with hafis hatta,natalie,cak kun cak, kila n apecaj.

too bad, cus i have to send am at shah alam then i have to pick my friends so, we reached there about 3 something... and by that time, the indoor stadium already shut off the light so we barely see things that they sell and the performance already started that time.. the singer, chihara minori performed well that day, and i noticed that she sang one song from naruto song.

after that we bought a pizza hut from pizza hut van and its kinda cool u know... we had a picnic that day!! awesome! its been a long time we didnt hang out like that... hehehehe

CATRIONA ROS'S WEDDING CEREMONY

it was a fantastic ceremony, it was held at Bora Ombak, Ampang Jaya on 11th July. she called me and invited me and asked me and my mom to come along for the ceremony. well, then i asked her whether i can bring my sis along. then she said that it cant be 3, must be 4. so i planned to bring amer along. well, then when the day arrived, as usual, amer starts to say lazy la aper la... then finally he was not sounds interested to go... but the thing is all this kinda 'protocol' occasion will be reserved the table with name attached on the seats. and thats why, there is no 'C.A.N.C.EL'. so, i have to scurry search for the replacement, and i chosed kamarul to go along with me. well, i know that kamarul love all this ARTISTS2 thingy.... and im not really into it.. so seeing him happy is already a pleasure to me that night..

i came home late that day cus i fetched kamarul and planned to take my shirts that amer sent to dobi... but end up could find it at dobi! damn it... but nvm, end up i came home late so struggle search for the coat, my moisturiser, contact lense, etc etc.... and too bad, my cousin took my camera accidently, so have to go to sentul to fetch it up then only go to ampang.. then we reach at the place aroun 8.45pm.

the wedding ceremony was really extra-vaganza and really fantastic. the theme was like a garden wedding.. it was really nice. the food was traditional malay food.. rendang, ayam masak merah, and mostly, i love her sweet sour fried fish... my mom said, this is the first time of wedding in malaysia which taste as good as that... well, comliment to kak cat. huhuhuhuhu....

and i also met some artists... well, that night there were loots of artists, but dont managed to take a picture with all of them, but whatever it is, i managed to take picture with my idol!!! ako mustapha!!!!! omg... he was really cool and gentleman! check it out k

me and rozita che wan

me and ako mustapha!!!!

me and mawi and also his wife, ikin

mak long and me mama~~

me with amelia and her husband A.C mizal...

me with datin normala samsuddin and her datuk.

MELAKA=GREAT!!

OWHH... owesome melaka! i've never get bored with melaka.. melaka is like my second home u know.. well this time, thing that make me go again to melaka is my sis got a complimentary room for two... well, its RENAISSANCE ok!! so, i invited amca to go along with me... well, basically, hes the only one who basically 'available' to go cus hafis went to pahang. well, but i prefer amca to go with me, but after i think twice, i think only 2 persons to go for a vacation will be no fun nor 'gila-gila' enough.. so, end up, i invited amer, my nyah to join the crib to stay in melaka..

we went to melaka on 11th june 2009... we just stayed only one day due to amca have to rush to JB on the next day. well, it went pretty well although all we planned is to go zoo melaka... we reached melaka about 3pm. so, we had our lunched(well, very light lunch i mean) then after we took shower, we went to zoo melaka which is they having a 'night zoo' but unfortunately, the night zoo is only available on weekend... damn it! then we went to mini malaysia.. yet,its closed. then after we think and think, we decided to go to cowboy town which is located at A'famosa resort, Alor Gajah. the journey to reach to the destination is about 30minutes,(which i drove about 120KM/H . omg.. this place is fantastic... really owesome, it really presentable and it really shows that they welcome all the visitors not only from malaysia, but from diffrent country too.. there were fun fair, performances and also some place to grab surverniers to brin back to ur mommy and daddy.

A'famosa

i like her nipple... auuchhh!

what a creation of Allah.. so beautiful

nak manje-manjeee~~

the performance was totally awesome! they got monkeys,lion,han,tiger and so many other animals which was my first time, i saw an animals with in one shot.. the performances was really good and i salute A'famosa for serving us the best show! really can proud of em' and really proud of malaysia.

then, we dropped by at the one nice restaurant to taste famous malaccan asam pedas... and surprisingly, i was really sour!! but lucky me, i looove masam!! they served with the petai, some ulams and also sup.ok, after that, we went to the jetty to play pool and karaoke, but as usual, its fully booked and damn.. cant enjoy any of em'. so, we just chill while eating desert(cendol kinda desert) in front of the club at the jetty.. can say its awesome!

amer... keje de tidoooo je..

me and the amcaaa rapeah!

amer kalau dah puas tido, de baring pulak... thats amer!

THE NEXT DAY, we woke up and and straight headed to swimming pool to chill around and after that prepared to go back homeee~~ i enjoyed a lot this time, and planning to go to melaka next month.. anyone interested? oh yeah, btw, im planning to go to genting for fun and play those bizarre games there.. anyone interested? hehhee.... nyways, take care!

e'eh.... lola pun nak pose jugak.. nak wat kenangan ekk.. ok ok.. abg tangkapkan.. hehehee

my song for now.

this song is one of my favourite song that i really really love and that i really feel every words of the song. just read the every words and hope u can feel it too..

david archuleta- little too not over you.

It never crossed my mind at all
That's what i tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You're better off with someone else
It's for the best, i know it is
But i see you
Sometimes i try to hide
What i feel inside

And i turn around
You're with him now
I just can't figure it out

Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)
Not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)

Memories
Supposed to fade
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it be this hard
Should be strong
Moving on
But i see you
Sometimes i try to hide
What i feel inside

And i turn around
You're with him now
I just can't figure it out

Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Maybe i regret
Everything i said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now i'm on my own
How i let you go
I'll never understand
I'll never understand
Yeah, oooh, oooh, oooh
Oooooooh
Oh
Ooooh, oh

Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
And i really don't know what to do

I'm just a little too not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)
Not over you
(eh eh eh oh eh eh eh)

Love or None...

maybe im putting hope too much..
hoping that clouds move away and let sunshine brighten us when we are together..
maybe im too hard on this relationship..
something that used to be on my bare hands seems to fade away..
love....

what is love?
why love is indescribable...
i heard... love is a symbol of warm, happy and joy, being close to another party or even share our sadness together...

now, i doubt it...
i faced anger, jealousy and even tears dropped when i even wanna describe it..
its suffering, i really do...

imagine, its like a charm... its haunting us no matter where i go..
when u eat, when u taking shower, when u driving...
no matter what i do, or where am i...
i'll think about the one i love...

but, love aint easy if u do, but the other one dont feel the same way..
tears drop from ur eyes is just like a rain which just clean off the dirt on the earth...
i faced one.... one love, that i can describe how sorrow it is...
that i am facing it now...
its killing us each day by day..
to be not appreciated,
to be hatred,
to be ignored,
to be dumb,

i tried my best to show how much i love
but it seems the effort i made is just wasting my time..
its suffering...
thats the word i can explain..
im lonely when i dont see the one i 'love'
its terrible,

i dont know how to let it go...
every time, i try to let it go from my heart..
i tried..
i try to forget it...
i tried to ignore and hate,
even i try to look for another path..
myself cant let it happen...

this is.... love...

vacation OFY to Terengganu!!!!!!

omg... ive been waiting soooooooo bloody long to go to this state... ive heard that the sea is marvelous, fantastic and wat, amazing!!! ok, thanks to skywalker cooperation, they asked me to be the guest of the week, for the show 'celebrity karaoke' for NTV7, which for the first, i rejected the offer cus im too busy with my company thingy, but after they called me for 3rd time, i agreed. i scurry rushed to my home to grab some junk shirts that i can wear for my shooting and just that, vroom, speed up to kelana jaya which the show will start for about 2 hours from that time. then i reached then the make up artists make me up and i dressed quite nice actually.. so, after that, i get a voucher to stay 4 days 3 night at Awana Kijal, Terengganu. that was fantastic, cus we are sharing the voucher, which is me and kamarul, so, only both of us went to terengganu. the duration of journey from KL to Kijal tooks about 3 hours and 30 minutes only. i drove 100KM and that is it. u can just cruise while listen to some gym class heroes song or even britney spears's song and there u go, reach to the destination. me even shocked that we reached terengganu that early according to our check-in time was 1 pm... and cus we start our journey at 7.30am, we reached about 11!!! omg.. so we just lepak2 here and there to kill some time.. and there u go, we checked-in!!

this is the room...

this is the batik which noor arfa made at our lobby

well, after all, this room was really compact yet very big cus we have one key for the bedroom while we have another key for the living room... its quite 'mafan' cus we even locked the living room's door without take the key-card off from the place. damn it... hehehhe...

for the first day, we took our own sweet time to relaaaax puas2 cus its been a tiring day, we just jalan2 at hotel, look around the places in the hotel and i tell u, Awana Kijal got a very beautiful scenery.

second day, first, we went to mini zoo that just opened last week... although its not fully complete, but still the only animal that havent delivered yet is tiger... ahh! DOESNT MATTER! it was really big and nice!! then, we went to kuantan pahang to club, but unfortunately, my favourite place of club in kuantan, closed due to some police rush... while swing, the owner of the club shot-dead at his head due to some kind of black market misused.( i guess so, cus im not pretty sure what the felow told me.. but something like that) so, we went to aloha, which is nice club but too bad, there were only tiny of peoples there and so we decided to go back.. we did pass by at palm beach for a while to take some fresh air..







third day was the best day. i went to rantau abang, to see some sea turtle, i heard there were some sea turtle sanctuary, and it took about 1 hour to reach rantau abang from kijal. although when the time we reached to the place, the sanctuary already closed, but we sneak-in to the sea turtle breeding centre which located at the near-end of sea shore.. it is open air place, only they put some barrier around it. but we managed to see it with our own eyes and got a chance to touch it with our bare hands!!!! thats over the top wehhh! i took some nice shot, and after i spent 1 hour at that place, i started my journey back to hotel, well, it was quite exhausting after u spent like 1 hour in the car u know... then while we were going back, we saw such a nice nice nice and beautiful beach at the corner of the road... i straight stop my car right away and took off my pants and run to the beach just like what 'euro trip' did... hahahaha... if u seee this pictures, im pretty sure u will bite ur finger screaming to go there... check this out. and after that, when we were resting at the sea shore, one man catch a big fish!! i even get the oportunity to take a shot!!

this is rantau abang jetty

took some nice shot at the sea turtle breeding center

cutie2 sea-turtle

e
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that night, we planned to go to see firefly tour, but unfortunately, we reached at hotel about 8 pm and so, we didnt make it... but u see, we use the tour fee and use it to MAKAN BESAR at one of the restaurant... we ordered ikan bakar, sotong bakar... sup bla bla bla... and turn-out, the bill was quite bit of chunk too.... ehhehehee....

the last day, after my sis called me and inform me about the sea turtle sanctuary at cherating, we went there to see that person... his name was HAJI KARIM, but too bad, he was not there, so the asssistant gave us a guide to that place and even let us enter the breeding room... there were many baby sea-turtle... at first, we can only see it, but despite that we came all way from KL, she insist to let us touch it.... im sooo happy and it was really cuuute!